Well I'm just writting a random blog just so I'll have one for today but anyways Im not gonna wtalk about my day I guess I'm just gonna talk about what I've been thinking lately. Well I've been thinking about a lot lately and how much I've changed. I guess I'm happy but honestly I was happier freshman year even though everyone hated me and I was mean I didn't care because I was happy with my friends I didn't care about who hated me and I was happy with my life that was the Rina I've been my whole life. I feel like I lost a part of myself somewhere nowadays I've let go of all my mean ness but Ive lost so much I lost myself yeah the old Rina was mean and stuff but she could ignore everyone and everything and not care about a thing. I hardly remember the old Rina. The sad part is the old Rina was the one I was my whole life. Being the new Rina comes with too much being nice to everyone, and caring about what others think, so I have more friends but do I really??? I'm still doing nothing on a Saturday hoping for a new day. I do have a lot of friends compared to the old Rina but I don't really because Im not the kind of person who will invite people over or text someone unless I feel comfortable with it. I guess the only thing I haven't lost is my work ethic. At least the old Rina all she needed was her one best friend and she was happy but now I don't even have that anymore that best friend is still my best friend but I guess it's not the same. The new Rina is great I guess but not really because she already lost a friend. Looking back now I ask myself was it worth it??? No. The original reason I started being nice was I thought maybe me and Allison would be bff again but then I guess I liked how many friends I was getting and after all that I realized it wasn't gonna happen. But alas I don't care that much do I??? If I really did then I would actually start doing something I would try to reconnect with them but I don't feel the need to go out of my way to do that. I guess I just keep hoping something will happen we will be friends agAin. Haha yeah right that's not gonna happen. Well I will if I ever feel like it.
-Rina
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