The Perfect Confusion

Written November 4, 2010

Always digging through my old writings

I rarely ever get what I want in a person. I want a relationship to be perfect. I want that other person to be just like me but better. I rarely ever get what you want. I just realized that person was right in front of my face the whole time. Side note: I hate naming names in my blog I feel like everyones invading my privacy but I'll do it anyway. Rebecca my ex she is perfect. Unfortunately I am thrust with exactly what I want and I don't appreciate it. Oh well but that's not my problem. My problem is that I'm depressed and I'm not sure why. I have what I want I guess one of my exes that I've been wanting forever I have what I want and I'm still depressed. Maybe it's not what I really wanted or maybe I'm just sad over the fact that I know I'm not supposed to be dating and I am. Maybe I'm sad because I don't have a real gf. It's probably that a week or so ago I had a gf for like a day. Then she realized she didn't like me. Shocker I know. No one likes me like that. At least no one who lives by me. Anyway I don't know what to do I don't wanna hurt anyone and I don't wanna be sad I just wanna be happy. It's weird how having just anyone doesn't make me happy anymore I guess that's a plus but I just wanna get out of this hole I just wanna be happy what to do what to do?
-Rina Burr

Repetition

Looking through some of my notes I found don't remember where its from or why I wrote it:

Im feeling like I keep on talkin

I'm repeating Myself

my words lost all meaning

I keep talking

I repeat myself

@Rinab333

Day sixty of Rina's life

So today was boring. Blah I bet no one reads this. Haha I do this just for fun. I know I said that previously but the reason I added a blog on blogspot for someone cool to read it. When I posted my post on facebook i got more hits. I kinda wanna put up my person stuff up her but then again I kinda don't. I do because its interesting and shows my feelings. But its like depression, suicide ecetera. It reveals things about my life i haven't told a lot of people I'm just gonna put a few up a day and see what happens. Anyway about my day it sucked!!! I mean school was alright but it just made me sad because I don't have what I want and it hurts ugh why am I so obsessed. I'm pretty sure that's not normal. I wrote a letter to myself. I'll put it up here.
-Rina Burr