The Perfect Confusion

Written November 4, 2010

Always digging through my old writings

I rarely ever get what I want in a person. I want a relationship to be perfect. I want that other person to be just like me but better. I rarely ever get what you want. I just realized that person was right in front of my face the whole time. Side note: I hate naming names in my blog I feel like everyones invading my privacy but I'll do it anyway. Rebecca my ex she is perfect. Unfortunately I am thrust with exactly what I want and I don't appreciate it. Oh well but that's not my problem. My problem is that I'm depressed and I'm not sure why. I have what I want I guess one of my exes that I've been wanting forever I have what I want and I'm still depressed. Maybe it's not what I really wanted or maybe I'm just sad over the fact that I know I'm not supposed to be dating and I am. Maybe I'm sad because I don't have a real gf. It's probably that a week or so ago I had a gf for like a day. Then she realized she didn't like me. Shocker I know. No one likes me like that. At least no one who lives by me. Anyway I don't know what to do I don't wanna hurt anyone and I don't wanna be sad I just wanna be happy. It's weird how having just anyone doesn't make me happy anymore I guess that's a plus but I just wanna get out of this hole I just wanna be happy what to do what to do?
-Rina Burr

Entry From My Diary: Written 7/14/07

Dear diary today was a horrible day first it was good, but then when I heard my Grandmother for over the years I have seen her fade away before my very eyes. I have heard that when someone you love dies part of you dies with them. I hope that doesnt happen to anyone. My grandmother died on 7/14/07. The good thing was she felt no pain and died in her sleep. Also everyone who she loved saw her. I will express my feelings in a poem.

The way she yelled at nurses
The way she smiled at me
The way she game me lemon drops
We dont have her
We have memories
We can cry
It cleanses the soul