Cross Roads

I may not be the smartest or the best but I do have big dreams. I am a dreamer. It may seemed a bit far fetched to say that i am going to be famous one day, or cliche but that is one of my biggest goals. I feel like right now i am at cross roads. The biggest decision of my life, college. Where should I go? I know what i wanna be and what i wanna do but i dont know where i wanna go. if that made any sense at all. I think about that a lot. I worry that what if i do choose to go one way and i miss out on the chance to make it to really do what i wanna do. I wanna have the college experience and move away maybe along the way grow more independent, but its not that easy. I dont have any money and i know this might sound weird but i hate writing i cant just sit down and write an essay on how blah blah changed my life this may sound a bit self centered but i like writing about things that pertain to me not something that i dont care about as you can tell right now i don't know im just lost right now and i dont have a lot of time to find my way and i just hope when i do make the decision it is not the decision that ruins my whole future and im stuck living a mediocre life i dont wanna be normal i wanna become a computer programmer and make my own operating system and have my own company

Dream: Mr...?:

Note:

This was written a while ago excerpt from one of my daily blogs

I had this weird dream if anyone knows what it means let me know MESSAGE ME COMMENT I WANNA KNOW!!! My dream Me, Derek, jhan and Leticia were playing in this field and we were playing with frisbis. Our cellphone were turning into frisbis through the memory slot. You just pull the memory card and it turns into it. Then Derek had to go and jhan told me to walk him to his moms car so I did. But I had to run to catch up to him. When I finally cAught up to him he was looking for his mom and I'm like Derek wait up. Then all of a sudden Derek turned into a dog. Beside derek was a computer. I took Derek home and the computer to investigate. When I got home Derek turned invisible so my dad didn't see him when he walked in. I took him to my room and turned on the computer it said mr. ....(I don't remember his name)'s computer. Next to Derek appeared an earwig. I looked on the computer and there was a series of numbers all under different names. They all appeared to be hypnotists. First was the mr... I called him first. When I called it said " the number you have dialed is not in service. So i called the next number underneath the first one. It was a lady hynotist. I called and then immidiately there was a knock on the door. I opened it and the lady in the picture on the computer who's number i was calling said "you called" I said "sorry wrong number". As she was walking away I said "do you know who mr... Is?" the lady got this horror stricken look on her face and disappeared. Then I went back to the computer and kept trying to call mr... I finally realized that the number on the computer kept changing everytime I looked at it. Then I woke up.

Repetition

Looking through some of my notes I found don't remember where its from or why I wrote it:

Im feeling like I keep on talkin

I'm repeating Myself

my words lost all meaning

I keep talking

I repeat myself

@Rinab333

Video Games

Written: July 21, 2011
I've been talking to myself a lot lately but I feel like it's not enough I can never get it out into words so I took this time to sit down in just talk to you yes you the people the ones I write to you when I write I feel like I'm talking to everyone I feel like I'm just getting it out getting it off my chest so I took this time do you speak here goes nothing: so right now how I feel it's pretty happy I'm a bit hyper but I guess yeah this is me earlier I felt like nothing could lift me from the sadness so a couple days ago us playing this game I had to get to this one level so i could actually play the quest i wanted to once i got to the level i stopped playing the game i feel like thats my life the hardest part is the struggle and constantly dying and coming back to life and fighting the same battle again learning strategies perfecting skills so i can get to my goal but once i get there to my goal ... Bam the desire the drive its gone