Update 2014

reading back at my old things makes me miss those days. but not really its hard for me now a days to sit down and just write about my life it probably has to do with the fact that i am over telling people stuff well not really i like to tell people things but i am really over the whole online thing but it also has to do with the fact its so hard for me to just sit down and write there are so many other things i could be doing but i decided i should update well i havent wrote a blog in what six months a lot has changed i went away to college and i am actually doing pretty good i found a perfect girlfriend now here comes the hard part keeping her around relationships are hard work but its worth it in the end. i have my own place now and i am starting to do grown up things which for all you kids out there isnt as fun as i thought it would be but reminiscing on these old blogs makes me remember how fun it used to be when my whole life was the internet

oh College...

Well right now I am sitting in computer science bored as ever wishing that i had my own car. if i had my own car i would be out of here by now. a lot has changed since i last wrote in this blog, but i will get to that later. I am about to graduate in may and i should probably be writing an essay right now on the reasons why i want to transfer but i am not. i should be paying attention to my teacher but i dont want to concentrate. i literally am sitting in the back of my class typing away on my computer. i am the only black girl in my class and the only female to top it all off i am a stud. sometimes i feel so like awkward. i dont want to draw attention to myself but i don't want to listen to her. anyway i decided to start writing again because well i dont write anymore i know i say i hate writing i do. i passed my English classes so i never have to write again. i enjoy writing when im bored to my anonymous audience that probably doesn't exist. i wanted to get a few things off my chest. I cant write sometimes i think it is myself because somehow i always got decent grades on my papers for English with no help from my mom or anything. but this application is really hard like i need a registrar and a person who should recommend me. i dont know any professors like i enjoyed every single one of my teachers but to go up to them and ask for a recommendation is gonna be hard as fuck. I am thinking about asking my computer science teacher i mean that is my major. im signing off for now i am gonna try to write this essay. 

Cross Roads

I may not be the smartest or the best but I do have big dreams. I am a dreamer. It may seemed a bit far fetched to say that i am going to be famous one day, or cliche but that is one of my biggest goals. I feel like right now i am at cross roads. The biggest decision of my life, college. Where should I go? I know what i wanna be and what i wanna do but i dont know where i wanna go. if that made any sense at all. I think about that a lot. I worry that what if i do choose to go one way and i miss out on the chance to make it to really do what i wanna do. I wanna have the college experience and move away maybe along the way grow more independent, but its not that easy. I dont have any money and i know this might sound weird but i hate writing i cant just sit down and write an essay on how blah blah changed my life this may sound a bit self centered but i like writing about things that pertain to me not something that i dont care about as you can tell right now i don't know im just lost right now and i dont have a lot of time to find my way and i just hope when i do make the decision it is not the decision that ruins my whole future and im stuck living a mediocre life i dont wanna be normal i wanna become a computer programmer and make my own operating system and have my own company